Long stories and profiteering, Vol 1 - Cats, Razors

As I learn new things about the world, I come to realize that things I previously had learned were either incorrect, or more often not the complete picture. I then have to spend mental effort washing those things from my mind or learning them again with the proper facts. It's a lot of work, but worth it in the end.

A side lesson I learned along the way has been that big corporations will come up with a lot of inferior products and convince us that they are great.

Example 1 - Steve preaches about cat food - so listen up!

The best example of this is in my never-ending struggle to find good cat food. The first learning process began when I discovered articles about ingredients in cat food. My cats were on Hill's science diet. Lots of people, including many vets, seem to think the stuff is great. But just from a brief bit of research I discovered numerous articles pointed out how awful it is. No one really named Hill's directly, they just listed all the stuff cats really don't need or want or even shouldn't have. One article listed 4 things to avoid, and hill's science diet had 3 of them! I had to examine what I thought I knew about buying pet food and learn that weird little stores that sell natural foods are probably right.

The next step was in switching from dry food to wet food. More internet research and discussions with vets and knowledgeable cat folks led me to the discovery that wet food is vastly superior to dry food in most cases, and helps cats lose weight (which was my primary goal). Mostly because the cat's natural diet is similar to an atkins diet, almost entirely protein, and dry foods generally contain 40-70% carbohydrates. Again I had to discard all of the so-called knowledge I had about good cat food and carefully pick a new cat food.

Lately, I've been trying to figure out how to get fatso Audrey back to a less bloated figure so she can fit into her swimsuit this summer. I've discovered that the food I was feeding her is pretty caloric - nearly 500 calories per day between the two cats. That's almost 1/20th of what I eat!! I had to examine what I thought I knew about cat food again - it's not just about the quality of ingredients and lack of "corn meal", "by-product", but also about the type of meat.

I am now once again on the prowl for cat food, and this time I have to take all of the following into consideration as I carefully pore over each can's label: quality of ingredients, carbohydrate percentage, vitamin and mineral content, calories per can, and even flavor (some flavors being more cat-egorically preferred).

For those who are curious, the brands I am considering are: Wellness (only the poultry + fish formulas), Merrick, Innova Evo (evo canned is new), and anything else with the right ingredients.

Any of you poor souls who are still feeding your cat Hill's Science Diet or similar might want to read some of my exciting bibliographic references:

• Tips for choosing cat food (with the infamous list of 4 things to avoid with HSD containing 3)
  
• Why cats need wet food
  
• Innova Evo - in my opinion, the best dry food out there, and cats.about.com agrees
  

Example 2 - Shave me (sung like the opening song of Smallville)

Another good example relates to shaving. I've been around the block and back again on this issue. Growing up, I used an electric razor. It was more convenient and gave a better shave (so I thought). At some point as a teenager, my acne was so ubiqitous that there was actually an amendment to make it the 51st state for a while. My doctor recommended that I switch to disposable razors. I used those for a while, but it was kind of pricey to keep buying them, and they never really felt great.

I then discovered the world of gilette razors. Sensor and Sensor excel, and what not. I discarded the practice of throwing away razors after each use and had to re-learn the proper amount of times I can shave with the same blade. I followed these gillette jerks for a while, all the way up to the mach 3. But the mach 3 was so expensive! If my math is right, it's somewhere around $50 for 2 blades. Or maybe merely $21.50 for 12 cartridges.

Since my acne wasn't too bad, I decided to switch back to electric. I had to learn how to shave once again. Electric shaving was difficult! It took three times as long to get the hair out, and it took me some time to figure out how to avoid an insanely red and irritated face. I never fully figured that out.

To my dismay, I had to switch back to the evil Gillette. At some point after that, I began reading about shaving oil. This miracle product comes in tiny bottles and you apply about 8 drops to your face instead of shaving cream. It works pretty well, I guess. I had to re-learn the proper method for applying shaving cream and learn how to spread a dot of oil onto a wet face. This took a while, because I kept trying to smear it with my entire hand, and the oil would be wasted. I also began to read about "cryo-frozen" blades. Seemed like snake oil to me.

But now these jerks at gillette have just released a 5 blade razor. What the heck? I was perfectly satisfied with 2 blades way back when. I have consistently fallen for the male machismo magnet known as more is better syndrome, so I was considering getting this thing. It even has a sideburn trimmer on the back! How does it work? I have no idea, but that's what it claims. Would I have to re-learn how to shave my sideburns now? And let's not neglect the price tag, a mere $27 for 8 blades. What a deal.

However, this weekend I ran across a few sites that explain "wet shaving". This whole tricky thing involves using a wet badger-hair brush to apply shaving cream to a wet face in a way that keeps the face extremely moisturized. This allows for a smoother shave. Somewhere in this whole wet shaving movement is a preference for older razors, and I mean OLDER, like 1950s and before (no offense to all you old people who are still around somehow who lived back then). This has immense appeal, as good quality blades for these cost only $0.50 each, or $10 for 20 of them.

It's not the first time I have heard about badger hair shaving brushes, and being that I am in the badger state, I think it is surely fate or destiny that I should contribute to the extinction of our beloved badger.

So in a few days I will be rubbing a badger against my skin using some exotic English cream made of weird plants and scraping my face with a blade used mostly as a weapon (or for cocaine, although I never really understood that too much from watching movies). I'm going to have to re-learn again how to apply shaving cream/oil and re-learn again the proper motions for shaving.

All in search of the perfect shave, which probably doesn't exist. Although the perfect cat food probably does.